Here’s the deal.
1. My husband LOVES when I write about him. It makes sense because he is my favorite writing topic. Well, one of my favorite writing topics. He’s definitely up there in the top 10 with felt, bread, embroidery thread and fabric glue. Oh, and my kids. Can’t forget them.
2. I purposefully picked a sensational headline for this post because I’m curious to see how long it takes Handy Husband to notice. Also, scandal sells.
3. This is an absolutely, completely true story. I should feel slightly bad about how it ends, but I don’t.
First, a little background information. For the entire length of our 20 some odd year (I’m losing count) relationship, Handy Husband has been steadfast about two things. His love for me, of course. And his absolute loathing of broccoli and cauliflower.
He will eat broccoli and cauliflower raw, but he refuses to eat it cooked. He doesn’t even want to be in the same house as cooked broccoli and cauliflower. So when I need a little alone time…
To put this another way, the man ate a dill pickle-flavored mint the other day, but throw a little broccoli in a stir fry and THAT is what makes him gag.
Now that I’ve set the stage with that riveting back story, here’s how it all went down.
A couple of weeks ago I was doing my usual ‘speed walk and shop’ through the grocery store when I spied something new. Something I had never heard of before. Celeriac.
You had me at distinctive and nutty.
That’s kind of how I describe myself, actually.
The celeriac was €1.50 ($1.50), so I decided that was a low risk purchase for a possible high reward. Plus, we’d be trying something new! Look at us being all adventurous and stuff.
I asked the checkout lady how to prepare the celeriac and she basically told me with her Irish accent to peel, cube, boil and mash it. Just like potatoes. At least, I think that’s what she said. Sometimes the Irish accent can be VERY hard to understand before I’ve had my daily coffee quota.
Handy Husband immediately spied this new oddity sitting on the counter when he got home.
He’s the type of person that reads the manuals that come with
everything appliances, so it didn’t surprise me when he went online to learn more about this funny-looking vegetable.
From the other room I could hear him hollering, “celeriac can last 6 – 8 months if stored in a cool, dry place!” Some women get sweet nothings whispered in their ears. I get facts about root vegetables hollered from across the house. Try to contain your envy.
Celeriac is a variety of celery that is cultivated especially for the root. It originates from the Mediterranean, but celeriac now grows wild in Northern Europe and other places.
Celeriac can be eaten raw or cooked.
My daughter and I both tried a piece raw and it tasted almost exactly like regular celery. It gives you a little mind trip to eat something that looks like a potato, feels like a carrot, but tastes like celery.
After I had peeled and cubed the celeriac, I put it on the stove to boil.
By the way, did you notice the ‘hot hob’ label on my cooker (stove)? ‘Hot hob’ and ‘cooker’ are terms widely used here in Ireland. ‘Hot hob’ still cracks me up almost a year later.
I have not gotten around to purchasing an electric mixer since moving to Ireland, so I mashed the celeriac with a muddler. No, I don’t have a potato masher either. Cooking with me is all about the improv! One way or another, I get the job done.
I added salt, cream and butter to the celeriac as I was mashing it – much how I would make mashed potatoes.
Here’s where the experiment went off its ever-loving-rails.
It turns out that while raw celeriac tastes like celery, cooked celeriac does not.
Oh. my. heavens. You’d have thought I was trying to purposefully poison Handy Husband.
“You didn’t tell me it tasted like CAULIFLOWER!” he said.
Oh, dear. Did I forget to mention that part?
In all fairness, we tell the kids they can’t possibly know if they like or don’t like a food until they try it. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve said that
this week in the last decade, I’d be rich.
I thought I should apply the same principles to Handy Husband. How could I possibly know he would loathe, detest and abhor this vegetable?
Oh, I knew. I totally knew.
Handy Husband would have been much happier if I had given him a heads up about the celeriac’s cooked flavor. I should probably feel bad about not giving him a warning, but I don’t. What I feel is a bit of amusement remembering the look on his face! Plus, the next night when I left his dinner plate in the refrigerator (he often gets home super late from work), he gave it a poke and a sniff before asking me if I tried to hide any celeriac in that night’s dish.
I just smiled.