“I’m off to a rough start,” said Handy Husband.
It was Christmas Eve, and we were in the gym doing our arm workout. (Dedicated, I know.)
After more than a year of lifting weights together, we have a routine. Handy Husband starts loading up the weights while I record what exercises we are going to do in our weightlifting journal. I typically call out, as a reminder, the weights that each of us is using for the first exercise.
I’ll say something like “You’re doing 72.5, and I’m at 37.5 on each side.”
We don’t go up in weights super frequently, so it’s not necessarily new information.
Except, on this particular day, I arrived a few minutes after he did. Handy Husband was already loading the weights for our first exercise, the bench press. I jumped into recording the workout in the journal and skipped the callout.
Soon after, it was time to begin.
Handy Husband went first with the bench press. He got five reps in and then said, “You’re going to have to help me with the last three. I’m off to a rough start.”
This was definitely unusual, but there were plenty of reasons why he couldn’t finish his first set of reps unassisted. Being tired, hungry, drinking alcohol the night before, or not being fully recovered from a prior workout can all affect how your workout goes.
So, I played the role of spotter and didn’t think much of it until it was my turn to bench press.
I was able to finish my first set of eight reps, but it was a struggle, and my form was definitely bad. Huh. I guess I was off to a rough start, too. That was annoying.
We repeat this same routine for the second set of reps because we aren’t quitters. Predictably, we were still struggling because nothing had changed, except that we were getting increasingly tired.
At the end of the second set, Handy Husband becomes the voice of reason and says, “I’m going to take ten pounds off for my last set.”
Have you ever had a record-screech moment where suddenly an important revelation occurs to you?
This was one of those times.
“Wait,” I said. “Ten pounds? We don’t put a ten on for bench press.”
Dear Reader, he had added too much weight to the bar, and it took us two complete sets to realize this fact. Had we been quitters, we would have figured this out sooner. Ironic.
We were both benching fifteen pounds more than we were used to, or clearly, ready and able to lift.
You wouldn’t think that’s a lot, but it certainly can be when you’re already challenging yourself in the middle of holiday cookie season.
As soon as I realized this, an instant and proverbial weight lifted off my shoulders. My perspective immediately changed. Instead of “I’m off to a rough start,” my perspective was “Holy cow, I can lift way more than I thought. Who’s amazing now? That’s right. Me, baby! ME!”
My inner voice is not shy. Neither is my outer voice.
I couldn’t stop thinking about that moment, and it led me down a path of introspection.
How often have each of us told ourselves, “You’re off to a rough start” when doing something hard or new?
Imagine if we told a baby who was just learning how to walk, “You’re off to a rough start, kid.”
No one does that!
We cheer that baby on for every teetering step. We lend a helping hand. Every attempt they make at walking is a celebration. It’s a struggle. They fall on their cute diapered butts countless times, but they keep trying. It happens on their own timeline, and eventually, that baby is walking, running, and jumping their way through life.
Imagine if we took even a smidgen of that encouraging energy and directed it toward more of the people around us this year, not just the babies. Imagine if we directed it toward ourselves.
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions per se, but I do aim to be a little kinder and gentler to myself this year as I will inevitably face challenges. ‘Tis the human condition after all.
I’d like to retrain my inner voice from defaulting to the negative of “You’re off to a rough start” and instead celebrate starting.
I am capable of more than I realize sometimes. I just have to be willing to try and keep trying even when it feels like the weights are stacked against me, especially then.
How’s your January going? Is it off to a rough start, or have you already learned to be kinder and gentler to yourself? Tell me everything.
You can comment on this blog post, email me here, or reach out via direct message on Instagram or Facebook.
Happy New Year!
P.S. This is not turning into a strength training blog. However, I did want to mention that because of the inherent danger with some weightlifting activities, we use a Smith machine. It allows us to set stoppers to prevent crush injuries if, for instance, you were bench pressing more weight than you could handle. Of course, we always have a workout buddy to act as a spotter, too. Be safe and have fun, folks!
Thanks for indulging me in a more personal post. We’ll be back to our usual DIY and home-related content in the next blog post. In the meantime, here are a few posts from the archives related to our home gym. Enjoy.
Stone Carriage House Gym – The Plan
Stone Carriage House Gym – The Expansion
Stone Carriage House Gym – Old Pipes Problem
*affiliate links in this blog post*