Ode to a $30 Vacuum

Did I ever imagine myself writing an ode to a $30 vacuum? No.

What’s an ode anyway?

Oh, shoot. It is a poem.

Ehm. Here goes…channeling my inner Shakespeare…

Ode to a $30 Vacuum
Who knew there was so much dirt on the floor
From feet and pets and crumbs of bread
I tried to sweep it out the door
But a $30 vacuum works better I said
Suck it, all you expensive vacuums!

Wow. That ode took an aggressive turn at the end.

Here’s how I came to be writing a terrible ode to a $30 vacuum.

I think vacuums are RIDICULOUSLY expensive. In fairness, I think everything is expensive, but this time I believe my opinion has merit.

We’ve owned a couple of Dyson vacuums and they are all at least $300.

Those cordless stick vacuums that every social media influencer has plugged into a fabulously organized closet are also at least $300. Even the off-brand stick vacuums from companies you’ve never heard of are at least $100.

So when I saw an article claiming people were RAVING about a $30 vacuum, the frugal soul in me couldn’t click on that clickbait article fast enough.

That’s probably the one and only time I don’t regret being suckered in by a clickbait headline.

I ordered the $30 stick vacuum made by Bissell off Amazon. It is called the Bissell Featherweight and it feels like a toy, it is that lightweight. I guess they chose the name for a reason! It does have a cord, but vacuum cords have never been a source of annoyance for me. The vacuum doesn’t have a roller, so you can’t really use it on carpet.

We don’t have carpet in our house, but I prefer to vacuum up dirt on our hardwood floors instead of sweeping. The vacuum just seems more thorough. However, we only have one vacuum because I am cheap frugal.

Do you know what is a pain and a total first world problem? Lugging the vacuum up and down the stairs. I also don’t like the kids to lug the vacuum up and down the stairs because they can’t seem to do it without banging every single stair on the way up and down.

My lightweight $30 vacuum solves those two problems!

But can a $30 vacuum actually work as well as the expensive vacuums? They are expensive for a reason, right?

I don’t know about that, but I do know my Bissell Featherweight sucks up dirt like a champ! Or rather, it sucks up dirt just as well as my several hundred dollar vacuum.

Who knew I would be impressed enough with a vacuum to dedicate an entire blog post to it? Reminds me of that time I wrote an entire post about a ceramic colander. When I’m passionate about something, I’m REALLY passionate about it, apparently.

Anyway, should I recite my vacuum ode again? No? That bad? Everyone’s a poetry critic.

To answer that nagging question in your head, Bissell does not know who I am, but I’ll answer the phone if they ever call. Maybe. I don’t answer the phone when a strange number is calling, except one time last week I answered by accident and I’m still traumatized by it.

If the Bissell Featherweight does have one fault, I would say the cord isn’t long enough. Or, at least, it isn’t as long as my regular vacuum’s cord, therefore, it isn’t long enough to me. Maybe that extra 3-feet of vacuum cord is why vacuums are so expensive? Hmm…

Thanks for indulging me today. You guys are the best! I’m relieved I got that off my chest and I’m happy I “splurged” on a $30 vacuum. Ha!

P.S. The $30 vacuum I ordered is the Bissell Featherweight Stick. It is a bagless vacuum and comes with a crevice tool. In regard to the dirt, I just dump it out of the canister after a few uses. The vacuum is available in multiple color options.

This post is not sponsored. Bissell does not know me. I am using affiliate links because that’s what keeps this blog online and I am very, very grateful for that. It allows me to share what I like and forget about the rest. IF you happen to buy something using one of my links, I get a commission. It doesn’t cost you anything more and I don’t know that it was you making the purchase. But if you get one, I’d love to read the ode you write for it. 

Thanks for reading poetry with me today! Here are some other posts you might enjoy. Pretty sure I did not write bad poetry in any of them. 

Tie-Dye Cleaning Rags

Jewelry Organizer From an Old Door

In Praise of the Ceramic Colander

*affiliate links in this blog post*