7 Funny Truths About Moving
Every time I write about moving I have to do a mental count of how many places we’ve lived – just in case one sneaked by me! Starting with the first house we moved into as a married couple and ending with the current place we are living, we have moved 11 times! We’ve moved domestically and internationally. We’ve lived in an apartment, a townhome, a duplex, and several single family homes.
And I know for certain we will move again.
All that to say, I’m a self-declared expert on the subject of moving households.
I’m also a self-declared expert on the subject of diagnosing medical symptoms with the help of Google. So take my self-declarations in the tongue-in-cheek way they are intended.
Since I am an expert, I know it’s only a matter of time before moving amnesia sets in.
Yes! That’s a real thing. It’s the state of forgetting how much work moving is so you decide to do it again. In my case, ELEVEN
Before moving amnesia takes a firm grip on my brain, I’m going to lay out some scenarios that happen EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. we move. Every time.
They probably have happened to you too.
Most of these are actually funny truths about moving. Although, some do require the sweet benefit of hindsight to find the humor in the situation.
Moving Truth #1: Moving into a new home is also known as the “Honey, Where Is The…” Phase.
Depending on how many times I rearrange the kitchen cabinets this phase will last
until we move again at least 3 months.
If you want to “level-up” on your skills, you can try anticipating what your partner is searching for just by noticing the time of day and hearing the kitchen cupboard doors bang. They’ll really feel you’ve connected on a spiritual level when you holler downstairs, “Cups are above the dishwasher” just as they are getting ready to ask, “Honey, where are the…”
My kids, on the other hand, don’t bother asking where things are located. They just improvise. No bowls, no problem.
Moving Truth #2: There is nothing like moving to make you strongly dislike ALL YOUR EARTHLY POSSESSIONS. All of them.
Everything must go. Burn it. Donate it. Just get it out of my sight because I can’t bear to move this stuff and
not unpack it again!
On the flip side, there are hazards to this attitude. If you are over-zealous like I am in getting rid of things, then count on there being at least one instance of “I wish I still had…”
I am currently wishing I still had something comfy to sit on. A couch. A beanbag chair. I’m really not picky at this point.
Moving Truth #3: You’ll FIND things in a move you thought were lost forever.
This time I found 3 bracelets I thought I’d lost on a trip to Florida over a year ago.
They were in a basket with washcloths.
I don’t even know what to say about that.
I was so excited to find these bracelets I ran out of the bathroom naked to find my phone so I could text my friend to tell her the good news. This was the friend I had melodramatically whined to about losing the bracelets, so of course, I had to alert her right away! The living room blinds were open during this dash and there is the distinct possibility I flashed the neighbors. I am pretty pale from living in Ireland, so maybe they’ll just think our house is haunted?
I don’t even know what to say about ANY of that.
Moving Truth #4: You’ll LOSE things in a move you thought you’d kept really, really safe.
Well, it turns out there is such a thing as TOO safe.
The minute you replace that lost item with something new and expensive you will find it.
So, save your receipt.
Moving Truth #5: You’re going to find that one nail in the wall the previous resident left that isn’t exactly in the perfect spot for your needs, but it’s in almost the right spot.
I know we’ve all had the same conversation in our heads upon making one of these discoveries.
Look! A nail! Hmm…I wonder what I could hang on that? I don’t want to take the nail out and have to patch the wall already. Do I even know where my hammer is? Hmm…that nail is a little low, but this picture could work. And look at me! Hanging stuff already. Go me! You’re totally NAILING this moving-in thing. HAHAHA!
Husband comes home and asks me why there’s a picture of a fork and spoon hanging in the bathroom.
THERE WAS A NAIL!
Moving Truth #6: Moving is oddly similar to childbirth in that in the post-move glow of enjoying your new home you forget HOW PAINFUL the entire process was for everyone involved, but especially you.
And there are no epidurals for moving. There should be though.
If you’re like us and are moving back from a foreign country and don’t have any furniture to sit on, you may find yourself sitting on a donut floatie while typing a blog article about the joys of moving. If you’ve had a child make a particularly aggressive entrance into this world, you’ll know why this childbirth analogy works.
Moving Truth #7: Nothing, and I do mean nothing, will make you question all your life choices like going to the DMV to get a new driver’s license.
1) Why did I move again?
2) Was this really worth it?
3) Are you more likely to see a unicorn or to get a good driver’s license photo?
3) Can I get away with lying about my weight on my license even though I ate that ice cream last night. And the night before. And the…
HEY!! We had to clean out the freezer!!!
Ah, life is funny and moving is hard work! It’s totally worth it though.
We are settling into our new house and overall adjusting to life back in the U.S.
It is taking us a bit longer to find our groove since we are also moving to a part of the country (the East Coast) we’ve never lived in before. I do get pretty excited when I can drive somewhere without using Google Maps! You’ve got to celebrate the little victories!
I’ve posted some pictures of our adventures on Instagram, in case you missed those.
This move hasn’t been without a few bumps. There are always a few! I keep reminding myself none of it is ‘life or death’ and to find the humor in all the random things life throws our way.
Do you have any funny moving stories? I’d be so happy if you shared them! I can always use a good laugh.
If you’re getting ready to move soon, you might want to check out one of these articles. Best of luck to you!
Thanks for your moving tips. I don’t plan to move in the near future but they were helpful. I admire you being able to move so many time and so far away at different times. I’m sure you have it down to a science now. I am anxious to hear about your new home on the East Coast. Hopefully your furniture will arrive soon and you’ll have a couch to sit on.
Since you don’t live in one place to long you can’t accumulate to much extra stuff so that should have helped in this move. Getting rid of will be the hardest thing if I ever move. Maybe I’ll leave it all for the boys
to do after I’m gone. Ha!
Moving does help you zero in on what’s important to keep and what you can let go!
Argh….moving stories…..the one thing that comes to mind is never buy your children a kazoo on moving day. I still shudder just thinking about it and hearing it for hours on end in the front seat of a pickup truck.
I say never buy your kids a kazoo EVER! LOL!