A Neighbor’s Compliment That Stuck With Me

We were doing yard work near the road recently and a neighbor walked by and said, “Hey, Man! Your flowers are so pretty.”

“Thank you!” we both responded in unison as if we had everything to do with those flowers blooming.

I’m fairly certain he was referencing the rhododendrons since they were in full bloom then.

Truthfully, I had nothing to do with the rhododendrons blooming. I didn’t even plant them.

We have three of them and I think they are older than me. Not that my kids would believe that since I was born in the *GASP* 1900s. Anyone born in the 1900s must be ancient according to them. I may be ancient, but I’m also the only one who knows the wifi password, so they’d better hope my ancient mind doesn’t forget it.

I also don’t do anything special to keep the rhododendrons alive. In fact, I’ve actively and aggressively pruned them back while muttering “not under my watch” so that they don’t take over the house. I’ve seen rhododendrons go all Jumanji on other people’s homes and I don’t need that kind of bad mojo.

Despite all of that, I will take full credit for the beauty of the blooming rhododendrons when a neighbor throws out a compliment. As one does. Feel free to compliment my store-bought contribution to the potluck too. See what happens. Hahaha!

There’s a quote from an aptly named novelist and philosopher, Iris Murdoch, who wrote, “People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us.”

I’m not sure I’ve truly felt mad with joy, but I know I find a tremendous amount of pleasure when the flowers in my yard bloom and the plants wake out of their winter dormancy.

It’s not just my flowers and plants that evoke this feeling. It’s the wildflowers growing on the side of the road. It’s the roses at the park. It’s the neighbor who has the most gorgeous hydrangeas. It’s the blooming dogwoods dotting the landscape in our town.

The dopamine release is real!

My neighbor’s compliment stuck with me for two reasons.

First, immediately after my automatic response of “thank you,” I was internally thanking the person who planted those rhododendrons, the irises, the daffodils, the blueberry plant, and especially the grapevines and peach tree that Handy Husband loves so much.

Talk about the ultimate act of paying it forward.

Now, after living here for a time, we are finally at a point where I can think about paying it forward by adding plants to our property.

We’ve spent years trying to reclaim the property from overgrowth. We’ve had to do so much exterior work, that I knew would be easier if there wasn’t a bunch of newly planted flowers in the way. We’ve also had to figure out how we want to use the property. That’s slowly evolved and continues to do so.

We took out a garden bed in a bad spot this year, but planted a blueberry plant.

We’re not using our little deck because it needs some work, but I did plant two hydrangeas. We’ll see if they end up liking the spot I picked out for them.

We’re also making plans to retire some rickety wood stairs and replace them with stone steps and a handrail! Handrails are great for us ancient people born in the 1900s.

The second reason my neighbor’s compliment stuck with me is simply that it made me feel good. I’ve become a little jaded in the last several years as public discourse and social media have largely left all civility in the dust. I don’t always expect folks to be kind. I’m cautiously hopeful they might be, but I no longer take it for granted that it will be extended to me or my family.

It wasn’t a woman who offered up the compliment. It was a guy in his 20s that I see walking occasionally. I’ve only ever offered a wave and a “hi” as he passes by as he’s always wearing big headphones and seems a little locked in his own world.

I appreciated it so much that he came out of his focused state to offer us that compliment. It felt so darn good!

If you think a compliment, you should say the compliment. You never know the ripple effect your words might have on another person or how much they might need to hear your words of encouragement in that moment. It doesn’t cost anything to give the compliment, and the person receiving it might feast off of your words for days.

I sure have.

Have you ever felt mad with joy over flowers? How about compliments? Let me know! I’d love to hear a happy, feel good story today. You can always comment on this blog post, email me here, or reach out via Instagram or Facebook. I respond to all of your comments.

I hope you have an amazing, flower-filled day.

As always, thanks for brightening my world by being here. If you’d like another blog post to read, I’ve got you covered.

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