I bought a houseplant. Yay me. It’s still sort of alive a month later. Yay me? It’s not looking good though, which is a shame because I had to carry it home from the grocery store like this. People don’t even look at you strange here for carrying home a plant on the train. I’m not confident the plant is going to survive. Something weird is going on with the soil. And the stem. If we’re going to be thorough, then fine. The leaves too. As for the obvious question, yes, I have watered it. And not just that one time. I have dutifully followed the directions that came on its…